Something improbable happened

Something improbable happened. Accepting this is not easy. It’s unsatisfying. I want a reason. An explanation. Why did this happen to me? What made me the target? Was it something I wore? Was it my demeanor? Did I lead her on? Did I drink too much that first night? Am I remembering it wrong all these years later? Why did this woman I hardly knew abuse me like that? I am desperate to know the answer, and at the same time resigned to the fact that I never will.